


Nothing Without You

by EmberandShadow



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Ed is soft, Fluff, Little bit of angst, M/M, Slow Burn, post 3x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberandShadow/pseuds/EmberandShadow
Summary: He isn’t prepared for it- that sinking feeling in his stomach that he can’t quite place at seeing Oswald again."Is it really you?""Who else would it be?"





	1. Chapter 1

It’s over now. Ed walks away from the docks with his mind clear, no longer thinking of Oswald- no longer needing him in his head. He knows who he is now without him, he’s moved beyond him. Ed Nygma may have been the man Oswald guided, befriended, and turned into something new- something _more_. But the Riddler is a creation made entirely by himself, a persona that he can take pride in knowing that he created himself without anyone’s help.

Well, not _entirely_ without any help. Lucius did provide an excellent mind to help Ed on his path of self-discovery.

But even as he walks away from the docks he can still feel something nagging in his brain. Something left undone. Left _unsaid_. He stops his mind from wandering further. He’s freed himself from the hallucinations but he still can’t help but think about the man he called his best friend.

He tries his best not to. Tries to live in this new world he’s created for himself, in the new persona. He thinks that if he remains in the Riddler mindset he’ll eventually stop thinking like Edward Nygma; that he’ll stop thinking of Oswald entirely.

~~~

Days pass. Ed is slipping. He was slipping before but he’s slipping even more so now. How could he have ever thought he could live with the fact of what he’s done?

There are rumors around Gotham that say the Penguin is back, and that he’s looking for Nygma. But Ed shot him and left him to drown and anyway Ed Nygma doesn’t exist anymore so even if by some miracle Oswald did survive there’s no way he’d ever find Ed.

There’s a part of him that wants the rumors to be true. Wants Oswald to be alive.

~~~

It’s completely unexpected. Ed’s been doing his best to avoid the police and that leads him to some bridge on the outskirts of Gotham. He isn’t prepared for it- that sinking feeling in his stomach that he can’t quite place at seeing Oswald again

The man in question stands like a silhouette in front of him. His face is obscured by the darkness so it takes Ed a moment to realize who it is and even then he isn’t sure if his mind is playing tricks on him again. So he takes tentative steps toward the man until he’s close enough that he can confirm it’s Oswald and then he reaches out to touch his face to confirm that he is flesh and bone.

Oswald is too taken aback by Ed’s tenderness, by the way Ed looks at him like he’s some sort of magical anomaly, like he’s been waiting his whole life to get to see him again- that it completely derails him from his mission to kill him.

“Is it really you? Could it really true?” Ed’s words are a whisper of disbelief.

His hand is still on Oswald’s cheek and even when the shorter man answers with a sarcastic “who else would I be?” He still doesn’t move his hand. He thinks that he probably should, that Oswald would probably prefer if Ed not touch him, not stand so close to him, not look like he’s on the verge of crying, but Ed is frozen.

“How? How are you here right now?” His other hand moves up so now he’s cupping Oswald’s face and he’s thinking it’s a bad idea and he’s wondering why he can’t control his limbs anymore.

“Ivy saved me. Nursed me back to health. Healed me from the bullet wound _you_ gave me.” His words are bitter. They have every right to be.

Ed wants to drop to his knees, wants to scream his sorries and cry until Oswald picks his broken heart up, puts it back together, and seals it safely back inside his chest. But so much has happened that it’s probably just wishful thinking so he just keeps standing, keeps looking at Oswald like he’s an angel, and he hopes that Oswald will see the regret in his eyes.

“You have nothing to say for yourself?” Oswald asks at his prolonged silence, “You’re just going to stand there and look at me like I’m some _goddamn miracle_?”

He bats Edwards hands away, his anger returning to him now. He wants Ed to shower him with apologies, tell him that he really is nothing without him. But Ed is so prideful that he doubts it’ll happen.

“You must be angry.” Is all Ed says.

Oswald scoffs, “Angry? Ed, I’m so far _past_ angry! I came here to _kill_ you!”

Ed was expecting those words, so much so that they sting less when he hears them.

“So why haven’t you?” There’s no mocking tone in his voice, only crystalline curiosity.

Oswald is silent for a moment, contemplating his next move, his next words. He decides on pushing Ed back, one hand on the mans chest, the other reaching into his pocket to grab the knife, until Ed’s back is firmly pressed against a lamp post. He presses the knife lightly to Ed’s neck, then draws it down to his stomach, wondering where he wants to place it.

“I could kill you right now,” Oswald spits, even though Ed realizes this fact on his own, “And I would have every right to do so.”

“Well are you, or aren’t you?” Ed’s already decided that he won’t fight him, realized that he gave up his anger when he saw Oswald alive.

Oswald thinks a moment before sighing and stepping back, the knife dropping with a loud clang.

They look at each other for what feels like forever, the light from the lamp post bathing them in orange. After a long while Oswald speaks up.

“Is my house overrun by police? Is it safe to go back there?” There’s and unspoken ‘ _for both of us_ ’ that hangs at the end of his sentence.

Ed feels the fractures of his heart start to come back together, slowly.


	2. Home Isn't a Place; It's a Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s amazing how I never realized how much this house would remind me of you.”   
> “It is my house.”

They walk up to the mansion in silence. Officers from the GCPD had been there staking the place out for a couple days but eventually even _they_ realized Ed “the Riddler” Nygma wouldn’t go back to that place. Now the mansion lies abandoned. Empty. Ed feels like it reflects how he feels inside at this current moment. His mind- which is usually racing, usually thinking of one thing or another- is blank. He follows Oswald inside, a silent anxiousness washing over him.

Oswald walks into the house with his mind racing. He tells his thoughts to quiet down. He looks around at his home and sighs.

“I haven’t been in here since-“

“Since I had the Trio of Insufferable Idiots kidnap you?” Ed finishes.

Oswald smirks at that. And then he walks around his house, looking it over. It seems dusty; maybe because Ed never bothered to clean it after he left or maybe it’s just his imagination. He finds a bottle of wine and two glasses and sets them down on the dining table before sitting down and pouring them both a glass.

“Sit.” Oswald commands lightly.

Ed does. “What are we doing here Oswald?”

“We’re going to talk, Ed. And we’re going to figure out how to move forward from here.” He takes a sip of his wine.

They talk.

~~~

Hours pass. They trade the wine for water after the first glass is done. Oswald’s voice is hoarse by the time they finish- he hasn’t talked this much in a while. It’s messy and emotional, they both end up in tears by the end of it. There are raised voices. There’s shouting. And it’s around that time when Oswald appreciates the seclusion. There’s no one here to hear them and call the cops.

Things never reach physical violence. Neither of them want it to go that far.

There are a couple things that become clear in all the arguing. 1) Oswald Cobblepot is still in love with Edward Nygma; he isn’t sure if he’ll ever _not_ be. 2) Edward Nygma deeply regrets shooting his best friend; eventually he even admits that he might have deeper feelings. 3) _Home_ to them both is each other. 4) Ed will stay with Oswald in the mansion; it’ll give them time to figure out where they stand with each other now that they’ve forgiven the sins of the other.

~~~

“I stayed here. After.” Ed says from his position lying on the table.

Oswald looks up from where he sits on the ground, tears drying on his cheeks because he’s too worn out to wipe them away.

“It’s amazing how I never realized how much this house would remind me of you.” Ed says.

“It _is_ my house.” Oswald points out.

“It’s more than that, Ozzy.” Ed says, softly, the nickname tearing through Oswald’s heart. He doesn’t tell Ed not to call him that. “It’s how your smell is _everywhere._ How all of your things were still here. How _wrong_ it felt to not have you here.”

Oswald closes his eyes, breathes deeply. “You say that like you missed me.”

“I did.”

Ed sits up, slips off the table, comes to sit beside Oswald. Oswald opens his eyes, turns his head to look at Ed. Ed wipes Oswald’s tears away with his thumbs.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” He whispers.

Oswald takes his wrist lightly, his thumb slipping under his sleeve slightly. Ed tries not to gasp at the touch.

“I’m giving you a chance to figure out what you’re feeling, Ed.” Is all Oswald says before he drops his hand and stands up, walking away to the stairs to go to bed.

Ed sits back against the wall and tries to calm the sudden explosion of thoughts that enter his head all at once.


	3. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Couldn't sleep?"   
> "I've been asleep too much these past few weeks."

Edward Nygma has _fallen_ in love exactly once in his life. Kristen Kringle was his first love and he will always remember how he felt when he knew he started to love her. With her it was simple, it was easy, it was like waking up in the morning. Falling for her was as natural as breathing. And when Isabella came along Ed couldn’t help but transfer his love over to her- but _strictly speaking_ he didn’t actually _fall_ in love with her.

And while Ed had figured out men were an interest to him early on he’s never really acted on those feelings, never really cared to. Until Oswald.

They spend quiet days in the mansion, Oswald planning something quietly and Ed wanting desperately to ask what he’s scheming, inquire about his techniques. He still feels that need for a mentor even though he’s already found out who he is as a villain. Still, he can’t help but be curious about what Oswald’s beautiful brain is cooking up.

Ed doesn’t say much to Oswald and Oswald doesn’t say much to him. They’re still too fragile to know what to say to each other, how to speak, how to act around each other. He finds himself wanting to reach out to Oswald, to touch his sleeve or his arm or his back- innocent touches that would have gone unnoticed, even appreciated, had they been like they were before. But now he skirts around Oswald like he’ll be burned if he touches him. He’s careful not to get too close in fear that Oswald will find it too much.

Ed thinks he might be falling in love. But falling in love with Oswald isn’t as easy or simple as falling in love with Kristen was.

~~~

Ed has never been good at keeping out of people’s personal space. And even though he’s been trying his best to keep out of Oswald’s way while he figures out how he’s feeling he can’t help but slip up every once in a while.

They didn’t hire any help because Oswald doesn’t want to draw attention to them. So now they have to do things all on their own. Which would be fine if Oswald weren’t so dreadful at cooking.

Oswald is struggling to chop a pepper in an orderly fashion so without thinking Ed comes up behind him to take his hands and help guide him as he cuts, making sure each slice is even. Ed doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until Oswald sighs- so quietly it’s almost imperceptible- and Ed suddenly realize how close he is, how much of Oswald’s smell he is now surrounded in and he’s almost forgot how distinct it was until now, now he realizes that the smell is everywhere.

He steps away awkwardly. Mumbles his apologies just in case and quickly makes his exit. He isn’t quite sure what this means.

~~~

Oswald’s playing the piano. It’s quiet enough that Ed only barely hears it but loud enough that it wakes him. He sits up groggily, pulls on a t-shirt, makes his way downstairs, following the noise.

He stops just outside the room Oswald’s in to take in his silhouette, breath in the music, feel the pretty melody wash over his bones. He steps into the room after a moment, making himself known. If Oswald notices he doesn’t show it, just keeps playing his song.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Ed asks softly, his words barely carrying over the sound of the piano.

“I’ve been asleep too much these past few weeks.” He says, quieting his playing some.

The words are a verbal slap across his face- a reminder that Oz has been healing a gunshot wound for all those weeks because of him. He doesn’t need the reminder but he accepts it anyway.

“Sit,” Oswald says, looking up at Ed for the first time, “Play with me.”

Ed accepts the invitation, grateful for some sort of normality. He sits next to Oswald, places his fingers on the keys and is reminded of when they would do this all the time. Whenever they needed to think or relax or just couldn’t sleep they would play together. And it would soothe the both of them. So they play now, and Ed starts to realize what he’s always known but would never acknowledge:

He’s been falling in love with Oswald Cobblepot for some time now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd forgotten how much I love these two <3


	4. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is something here between us, and I want to explore that.”   
> "Yes."

Is it possible that two people could be meant for each other and never know it? How many strangers walk past each other never knowing that the person they gave a courteous smile to on the way to work was their soulmate? And do soulmates even exist? Could two souls really be destined for each other since the moment the universe came into existence? Ed has been thinking about these things for several hours now. He can’t seem to _stop._ He can’t help but wonder at fate and connected souls and whether or not you can have multiple soulmates in one lifetime.

“Ed?” Oswald asks softly, tearing Ed out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” He responds, staring at the ceiling.

“You’re lying on the table again.” And then he’s gone. And Ed realizes that he’s right.

Ed needs to talk to Oswald. It’s the only way he can fully realize what he’s feeling. He knows there’s something there in him, something deep inside, but he needs to talk it out. He’s always been so much better and thinking through his problems when he talks them out anyway. So he leaves his perch on the table and goes to find Oswald, who is in the kitchen cooking- he’s gotten a lot better at it since being here.

“Oswald.” Ed starts, and Oswald doesn’t look up.

“Edward.” He answers.

“We need to talk.” Ed doesn’t know how to go about starting this conversation, doesn’t even really know what to say in the first place but he’s going to try anyway.

“Okay.” Oswald says, still cooking, still not looking up at him. Somehow that’s what hurts him the most- not the monotone one answers that he’s giving.

So Ed walks around to the other side of the counter and takes Oswald’s hands away from the onion he’s chopping. Oswald allows the touch, allows Ed to keep hold of his hands, and he finally deigns to look up at him.

“You said that you wanted to give me time to figure out what I’m feeling for you.”

“That I did. And?” Oswald’s eyes are hopeful, like he’s waiting for some good news.

“And, while I haven’t fully forgiven you for killing Isabella and I know you can never fully forgive me for shooting you. But there is something here between us, and I want to explore that.” Ed says, being surprisingly eloquent.

Ed lifts one of Oswald’s hands gently, bringing his knuckles to his lips.

“That is, if you’ll let me have the chance.” He whispers against Oswald’s skin.

“Yes.” Oswald breathes.

~~~

“The Riddler?” Oswald asks, throwing the newspaper on the coffee table.

Ed smiles, smugly, “Do you like it?”

Oswald scoffs, “It’s not exactly terrifying.”

“Right,” Ed retorts, “Because _The Penguin_ strikes so much fear into the hearts of citizens everywhere.”

Oswald just glares at him, “The Penguin is a feared and respected name in Gotham’s underworld.”

Ed raises his eyebrows, “Then where’re all your subjects?”

“Ed, you are one word away from starting a war.” Oswald smirks.

Ed stands from the couch, walks around the coffee table, and leans in close to Oswald.

“Maybe I want to start a war with you.” He says, a smirk on his lips.

Oswald takes a step closer, bringing them toe to toe, “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Ed’s fingers find the collar of Oswald’s shirt, brushes against his skin. Oswald closes his eyes, leans into the touch, takes the bottom of Ed’s shirt in his hands. He opens his eyes, and Ed is lost in the beautiful blue of them for a moment. Ed pulls lightly on Oswald’s collar, silently asking for permission, searching his eyes for a sign that says this would be okay- that it wouldn’t be too soon.

Oswald leans into him, accepting the silent proposition, wanting Ed as much as Ed wants him. They’re nose almost touch when the doorbell rings, making them both jump, making them part from each other.

“That must be Ivy.” Oswald says, backing away and walking to the door.

~~~

It turns out that Oswald’s been planning to reintroduce himself to Gotham, take back his position as mayor, and retake his throne in the underworld. And he’s been using Ivy and a group of other people effected by Strange’s experiments to help him along the way. They’re here now to further discuss their plans, and Ivy keeps eyeing Ed from where he stands in the corner.

“I’m going to need my right hand back.” Oswald whispers to Ed, separating himself from the group for a moment.

“Your right hand?” Ed asks, not understanding.

“Yes, my Chief of Staff.” Oswald clarifies.

Ed smiles broadly, “I see.”

Oswald looks up at him with bright eyes, opens his mouth to say something but is cut off,

“So is he your boyfriend?” It’s Ivy. Neither of them noticed her walk up.

Ed and Os look at each other unsurely, wondering to tell her that they are- even though they aren’t there yet- or deny it when Ivy clearly knows what’s going on. They decide, silently, on neither.

Oswald just smiles, takes Ed’s hand and kisses the back of it, and then walks away to rejoin the group.

Ed smiles politely to Ivy before walking away. They may not know what they are to each other yet, but Ed feels hopeful for the first time in a long time- maybe you really can have more than one soulmate in your lifetime. It certainly feels that way to Ed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up last week but I've had family in town so I haven't had much time to write, but it's finally here! Enjoy! <3

**Author's Note:**

> How many times have I written their reunion? Three times now? Four? I can't remember. I have too many feelings about them meeting for the first time again- though it'll probably be more violent and/or angry than it is in my head.


End file.
